Jokes!!!

[Walrus]

Re: Jokes!!!

Fear the rabbit!

[jackrabit1]

Re: Jokes!!!

I think it was simply making fun of our language idiosyncrasies... like in "Fargo". No need to get all bent out of shape about it.... it's supposed to be fun!

[Walrus]

Re: Jokes!!!

Here's one that one of my patients told me. It's in season, too.

Three guys die on Christmas Eve. St Peter greets them and says, "ok, given the day and all, I want each of you to take something from your pocket and tell me how it represents Christmas. "First guy says, "that's easy" pulls out his lighter and says, "look-a Christmas candle." Second guy pulls his keys out and shakes them while singing, "Jingle bells, jingle bells." Third guy looks worried for a second, then his face lights up.
He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a pair of ladies panties. "These are Carol's," he says.

[jackrabit1]

Re: Jokes!!!

You know, you can take the Lutheran out and replace it with just about any religion up here in the Midwest. Even though I'm not Lutheran, I have several members of my family that are Lutheran, and let's face it, a lot of folks up here have a self-depreciating sense of humor. "Fargo" and "A Prairie Home Companion" come to mind as two big examples.

I've always believed that if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

And if you're offend, I'm sorry. But let's face it, it's not "The Golden Compass" for cryin' out lout!

[filbert]

Re: Jokes!!!

You know, you can take the Lutheran out and replace it with just about any religion up here in the Midwest. Even though I'm not Lutheran, I have several members of my family that are Lutheran, and let's face it, a lot of folks up here have a self-depreciating sense of humor. "Fargo" and "A Prairie Home Companion" come to mind as two big examples.

I've always believed that if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

And if you're offend, I'm sorry. But let's face it, it's not "The Golden Compass" for cryin' out lout!

Three guys of differing ethnicity and religion risk their health, family, and mental well-being by walking into a drinking establishment . . .

[filbert]

Re: Jokes!!!

Three guys of differing ethnicity and religion risk their health, family, and mental well-being by walking into a drinking establishment . . .

Oops . . . that should have been

"Three persons of differing sex, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and religious affiliation or absence thereof . . . "

[boxerboy]

Re: Jokes!!!

Good one Walrus, that one is very funny.

Wait a minute here, based on what you said earlier how can you laugh at Walrus joke? Seems to me that joke is offensive to Christians. Get a life

[jackrabit1]

Re: Jokes!!!

Some people have no sense of humor... Que Sera, Sera.

[jackrabit1]

Re: Jokes!!!

Since we're on the thread of being "offensive..."

Politically Correct Terms for Thin Skinned People

* He is not quiet; he is a Conversational Minimalist.

* He is not stupid; he suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.

* He does not get lost all the time; he discovers Alternative Destinations.

* He is not balding; he is in Follicle Regression.

* He is not short - he is Anatomically Compact.

* She does not have a rich daddy; she is a Recipient Of Parental Asset Infusion.

* He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a Vehicular Addiction.

* He is not unsophisticated; he is Socially Malformed.

* She does not hog the blankets; she is Thermally Unappreciative.

* She is not fat; she is Horizontally Challenged.*


and my favorite...

* He does not have his head up his butt; he is suffering from Rectal-Cranial Inversion!

[1stRowFANatic]

Re: Jokes!!!

Good one Walrus, that one is very funny.

Not sure why this one is allowable but the Norwegian jokes are not. This joke is based on religous beliefs, the others on ethnicity. Both pretty important to the individuals involved.

[boxerboy]

Re: Jokes!!!

I also failed to mention that you make fun of Pres. Bush everytime you post on this sight. Seems to me your a contradiction.
No one is suggesting you go up to a recent immigrant and make fun of their English. Nor do I think if you met the President would you remind him of all his speaking errors.
Lastly, if you think this kind of humor only happens in America I suggest you get out a little more. Travel to Europe and see what many will say right to our face.

[jackrabit1]

Re: Jokes!!!

Perhaps we need to do what Isiah Washington did and go to rehab, since we're all so "offensive!" LOL

[Jacks-D1]

Re: Jokes!!!

Check the title of this thread - it's called "Jokes!!!". Ole and Lena jokes are funny. Don't read the thread if you don't like jokes. Get over yourself.

Attorney joke time:

What's the difference between a dead attorney in the road and a dead skunk in the road? There's skidmarks in front of the skunk.

(by the way, I'm an attorney. This joke doesn't offend me)

[Jack4Life]

Re: Jokes!!!

A joke thread, what's next? A hottie/cleavage thread? ISUPERBUNNY

Let's not lose track here that these are all jokes. Hell, I am a Swedish Baptist, don't think I haven't heard any jokes about them? (Many from the Norwegian Lutherans, right, MD!) Anyway, let's all lighten up a bit. Maybe we need to heed SB advise which I fully support!

[2002jack]

Re: Jokes!!!

I thing there is a big diffeence here, I used actual quotes from President Bush. Ones he has actually said and do they make sense? No, so are suppose to keep a straight face just because he is the president? I dont think so. I think he is fair game and we have a right to laugh at him, or is he to be treated as though he was a king. Oh by the way, I would rather go watch a haircut than meet George Bush, but thats my opinion.

I am sensative about Norwegian Jokes, mainly because my dad, my materal grand father, two great grandfathers and a great great grandfather all were immigrants, all had to learn the English language. I am now trying to learn the Norweigian language, because some a@@ hole Americans thought that keeping a second language was a sign of disloyality. If you doubt what I say read about the period of time before USA entered WW1. Anyone speaking a second language and there were many where thought to be pro German, and the American Germans suffered the most under the Sedation Act. So even though both of my parents spoke Norwegian, they did not make me or my siblings speak that language and I wish they had. I would not have all these language books and tapes. I guess what bothers me the most is the difference sounds of vowels and often newer people from another country will still use patterns and sounds from their native language. They often struggle and I dont see any humor in that since, I have tried my Norwegian out on Norwegian speaking people and they don't see it as correct and often they too are amused.

As far as Europe, I looking forward to a trip in the near future. Since our Freedom Iraq was launched, we haven't made many friends in Europe so am not surprised that you did not receive a royal welcome.


I doubt anyone will get this but I dont like any ethnic jokes of any kind. America is made of many diverse groups who have come together under one government. Each group has contributed in one way or another, and none deserve to be a butt of any joke. Sometimes I think they are maybe an outlet for subtle racism. Now that will really stir some folks, but I think there might be some truth to that notion.

BTW Carol's panties has nothing to do with Chrisitanity, and that was why it was funny. Sorry I had to explain the punch line.

Finally, Pairie Home Companion, has been on my listening agenda for years. Keillor is not Norwegian, but he has a lot of respect for the Norwegian-Americans that have crossed his path. When he tells Norwegian Jokes, they are very selective and not intended to be a put down. So what PHC has and the joke that Jackrabbit1 told, there is much difference. His long joke made no sense whatsever so thats my take.

Amen brother! Finally somebody sticking up for us Scandinavian Americans. We have been discrimanted against way to long.