Jokes!!!

[EQguy]

Re: Jokes!!!

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England.

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment, scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York .

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.

But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The Titanic hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico , who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course,

as
Sinko de Mayo.

[tdhummel]

Re: Jokes!!!

When I was a baby, someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and
it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed
n the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea,' which
was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom
came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little
princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "just the cutest
thing!"
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of
tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, "Did it ever
occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the
toilet???"

[jackrabit1]

Re: Jokes!!!

Lie Detecting Robot
One day Kyle's dad brought home a robot. The robot was special in that it could detect a lie and would slap the person who lied on the face.
Kyle returned late from school that day and his dad asked him, "Son why are you late from school?"
Kyle answered, "Dad, we had extra classes today".
Much to his astonishment the robot jumped up and slapped Kyle on his face.
His dad told him, "Son this robot is special in that it can detect a Lie and will then slap the person who lied. Now come on tell me the truth.
Why are you late?"
"Dad, I went to a movie"
"Which movie?"
"The Ten Commandments"
Immediately, Kyle got a slap on the face from the robot.
"Sorry Dad, I went to see the movie Sex Queen".
"Shame on you son, when I was your age I never watched obscene movies or misbehaved" Immediately, the dad gets a tight slap on the face from the robot.
Hearing the last sentence, Kyle's mother comes walking out of the kitchen and sarcastically says to her husband, "After all he is YOUR son!!!"
To which the robot steps up and gives Kyle's mother a resounding slap on her face!

Sorry, I was too busy LAUGHING!!!

[thebluehatman]

Re: Jokes!!!

Nominated as the world's best short joke of 2007.




A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.


'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'


'Not yet,' she replied.

[EQguy]

Got into a fight this weekend

Yeah, its not usually my personality to get into fights but it just sort of happenend. Let me explain:

I got into a car accident, wasn't paying full attention and rear ended a car pretty good. When we pulled over to the side of the road I got out and waited to apologize to the other driver and make sure he was ok. Well, he gets out of his car and it turns out he's a little person (not sure what the pc term is these days). He got out of his car and came storming toward me. When he got right up to me he stopped and forcefully stated "I'm not happy!"

I looked at him and said, "If you're not happy, which one are you then?"

Thats when the fight started.