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JBNJBQ
11-05-2004, 05:09 AM
Another new airline begins airservice from Sioux Falls to Brookings and Fargo today according to an internet post (author unknown I looked hard):



LUTHERAN AIRLINES, INC.

YA, SHURE, YA BETCHA! DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERVICE TO SPROUT UP IN
SOUTH DAKOTA. ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT DAKOTA, AND MOONTANA. TRY IT, YOU
VILL LIKE IT!

If you are traveling soon, consider Lutheran Air, the no-frills airline.
You're all in the same boat on Lutheran Air, where flying is an uplifting
experience. There is no first class on any Lutheran Air flight.

Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a
main dish, and 22-30, a dessert.

Basses and tenors please sit in the rear of the aircraft.

Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.

All fares are by freewill offering and the plane will not land until the
budget is met.

Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you with the
safety system aboard this Lutheran Air 599.

Okay then, listen up: I'm only gonna say this once. In the event of a
sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and
so will Captain Olson because we fly right around 2000 feet, so loss of
cabin pressure would probably indicate the Second Coming or something of
that nature, and I wouldn't bother with those little masks on the rubber
tubes. You're gonna have bigger things to worry about than that.

Just stuff those back up in their little holes. Probably the masks fell out
because of turbulence which, to be honest with you, we're going to have
quite a bit of at 2000 feet ... sort of like driving across a plowed field,
but after a while you get used to it.

In the event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying the Lord's
Prayer and just hope you get to the part about forgive us our sins as we
forgive those who sin against us, which some people say"trespass against
us," which isn't right, but what can you do?

The use of cell phones on the plane is strictly forbidden, not because they
may interfere with the plane's navigational system, which is seat of the
pants all the way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in the wazoo,and
if God meant you to use a cell phone, He would have put your mouth on the
side of your head.

We're going to start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with the
coffee pot up front. Then we'll have the hymn sing; hymnals in the seat
pocket in front of you. Don't take yours with you when you go or I am going
to be real upset and I am not kidding!

Right now I'll say Grace. "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let these
gifts to us be blest. Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Brookings
......or pretty close. Amen."

1stRowFANatic
11-05-2004, 06:10 AM
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

SDSUFAN
11-05-2004, 07:44 AM
From a Norwegian Lutheran, dis is funny. Vaer sa godt meaning in English, help yourself.. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Jacks99
11-05-2004, 07:53 AM
I believe that flight attendant was on a flight of mine for NW a few months ago!

jackmd
11-05-2004, 04:24 PM
I believe that flight attendant was on a flight of mine for NW a few months ago!

I know that flight attendant!! She's from the Twin Cities area and dropped right out of the movie Fargo. I think her name is Margie.

Will green jello with marshmellows in it be served? How about rye bread with cheese whiz and olives?

JackJD
11-05-2004, 10:14 PM
That's classic! In the coming months the feature play at the Plymouth Playhouse in beautiful downtown Plymouth, Minnesota: "How To Speak and Fly Augustanian"

JBNJBQ: thanks for the laughs.

JBNJBQ
11-06-2004, 07:28 AM
Will green jello with marshmellows in it be served? How about rye bread with cheese whiz and olives?


"There is no first class on this flight!"

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


JBNJBQ